Journey to Dreads

Dreads!

It’s something I have always wanted – right when I was a teenager. Growing up in Cameroon though certain things automatically catapult you into a bad boy group. Tattoos and dreadlocks were high up there and anyone who wore one would feel the piecing eyes of judgement and dissent.

I’d never be in a corporate job back home wearing dreads- we have to comply to European beauty standards. I’m not even going to go into what is expected of girls!

So we’ve ditched what is natural to us to adopt another – yet again.

How bad is it ? There is an armed conflict escalating back home. I spoke to my mom and told her I was going to come home for a short visit and she pleaded with me not to- her exact words were “if you come with your hair like that you will be shot!” Now changing the narrative is something I have always strived to do. Not just for myself, but for others like me. I used to be upset when I got stopped and profiled at airports. But I actually now look forward to it – because the more I’m stopped and found to be nothing more than a traveler, (hopefully) the less the profiling and stereotyping of others.

I’ve been in situations where people confidently come up to me to as for contraband and sometimes express some shock when I tell them I have nothing to offer to them – but a hug 🤗 It’s sad but that’s the world we live in.

Wearing my dreads every day is a message for myself and for others like me, to those who don’t see us as we are. We are normal, regular hair loving people and love to have it worn this way.

So it took a while for me to finally get on board with growing my dreads. There were some external factors.

One prominent amongst them was a story I read about girls in South Africa being sent home from school in order to go straighten or cut their hair! Read that again!

Their parents had to come and protest at the school for days and eventually the story caught media attention worldwide.

I told myself this was one fight I would want to be in, not to throw punches but because representation matters, the more we are, the more it becomes normal.

Though in defiance, I also will not allow myself to be judged.

Historically men have also worn long hair. You look at most indigenous tribes and the males wore long hair and most of them naturally rolled up into dreadlocks. Crazy that we travel around the world to go see and experience the simple and rich lives of these people and sometimes wish it were like that today. The native Americans in the east, the Masai in East Africa, the Samurais in the Far East, the Maoris and Samoans, the list goes on and on.

But more than the looks of them from the outside, there was and is a distinct way in which these people carried themselves, you can feel the energy around them and see it in their eyes, people of high caliber and values.

It’s some of the things I am trying to incorporate into my own life daily. It is helping me build better habits and values.

“It’s (not) just hair” as some have said. But it’s a starting point or continuation of an ascension to an improved version of myself

Transformation.

This was the third and final reason I was growing the dreads. Having been for the most part in a comfortable place things were starting to shake up in my life. Difficult moments were clearly mapped out ahead of me and I had to be able to approach these with some sort of navigation.

Nothing wakes you up more than the certainty of an imminent and confirmed doom. Giving up was not the answer so I had to prepare myself in every way possible to face this.

One of these was working on the inside job – the spirit. It took a few trips to mountains and ceremonies in which I did nothing but listen to myself, identify my strengths and weakness and look for areas of improvement.

I was advised to have something physical to look at to remind me of the work I was doing, to keep myself grounded. You know, like the guys in the movie Inception, in which they had totems to let them know if they were in a dream or not. Then someone asked me what’s up with my hair and out of nowhere I replied “as my hair grows, so does my spirit”.

And that was it, my hair was going to be my totem through this journey a reminder as to the person I was molding myself to be through the tough times to become a me that I am pleased with every day.

Locked in these hair fibres are my stories, a record of my energies and emotions. I can tap into them whenever I feel the need to.

Moreover, it is a hairstyle made for my hair.

An extension of character and to the soul, a filter to the type of people I would like to meet( using the bias to my advantage). The people who take the time to get to know you despite the “outlandish” hairstyle.

People who are strong, self-assured with a good sense of who they are. This is just one of the may good qualities people with dreadlocks have which I love.

And then there is the defiance of western standards to beauty, a racial or cultural connection, an expression of freedom, sometimes a fashion statement or simply a way to express individuality.

And yeah, it’s also cool

The corporate and urban hippie!

“Urban hippie” and “corporate hippie” are just some of the few tags I have been given over the last couple of years. I don’t mind them, I mind that I am reaching out to people in any way possible. People who know me now assume I just got into this way of life. I’ve been on it for half my life! I was introduced into metaphysics when I was barely a teenager to help me cope with issues I had growing up. It hasn’t been a steady course, it hasn’t been easy and I still have a long way to go. It was way difficult when I was younger as I grew up in an environment where Christianity was strongly observed and anything else was heavily frowned upon and you were subject to all sorts of misinterpretation, name calling and shunning. So it pretty much was a very very tight circle without a lot of freedom to speak or express your true thoughts on certain things. But that didn’t deter me from seeking what I consider my truth and my center. Some of my friends say I’m woke, enlightened and lucky and I just laugh. I laugh because I think of myself as a joke and the thought that I am here to save someone else just cracks me up as I haven’t even figured out a way to save myself if I needed saving from. A few sometimes reach out to say thanks and I’m glad I left a positive impact in their lives no matter how small. I don’t know it all, I don’t know much, what I do know is that the enlightened one is the person who pushes his boundaries of knowledge and always eager and willing to learn new things, ways of life and really just to listen to others to get their perspectives. That’s why I love exploring the world, I get to see the world as it really is and not as it is described. There is a huge difference. I’m working on giving back as well in any way I can, I share whatever knowledge I feel I have acquired to whoever is ready to listen and in the process I learn from them too about their mindset and why they see things the way they do not forcing anything on them. A while ago there were things I was certain I knew and oh my how that has changed, that’s the progress I’m making. I am psycho, I am calm, I am wild I am Free, I am chained, I am every emotion there is to feel and experience…

I am you, you are me, we are all in this together and non the wiser. I cannot separate myself from you just like the sun can’t separate itself from the earth and the planets around it, and the galaxies around it and everything that exists, we are the cosmos we are all from it and in it. When this is understood we will all then collectively evolve as our consciousness grows and we will genuinely feel and care for each other and heal and it doesn’t matter if you are a hippie or not it just matters that you are in touch with your consciousness.

Stop taking life too seriously!

On Friday I spent 4 hours listening to a mystic – Sadhguru. He’s the first guru I have watched live delivering his speech to about 6000 people. When I heard he was coming to dubai I had already committed to doing something else with some friends and just didn’t know how i will make it there. I anyways put it through to the cosmos and let everything play out for itself. The day came, I honoured my prior commitment and left to see Sadhguru speak. Everything was falling into place. I am one of those people who lives to see the day that science and spirituality are bonded together and he spoke of both in unison which made it even more exciting for me.

He broke down his talk into 3 sections but talked about them all together referencing one or the other at certain times – self significance, Pride and Ego. What amazed me was the ease with which he spoke, he made it seems so so easy with the way he delivered, making you wonder why you make the decisions you make which only come back to haunt you. I’ve never paid attention to someone this much but not really paying attention because he wouldn’t let you to, he cracked a joke every 2 or 3 minutes, and if there was one thing I could take from his talk was that we should stop taking life too seriously – Self significance. We should enjoy life as we are meant to, enjoy the moments. He spoke of how we have evolved to a species where we have pretty much sealed our survival through evolution and we do not need to worry about survival. Now that that is taken care of we have to focus on living, living the right way, living through experiencing life to the fullest, noticing the things going on around us and those special moments. He spoke of how we have more often than not decided to make sweet moments brief and painful ones long! How we go about creating drama in our lives instead of just letting life play out and we enjoy it. Like someone or a kid who sees a butterfly for the first time – the excitement is usually through the roof – they become the butterfly as in they start jumping and flapping around in excitement themselves. Then he spoke about us and the cosmos, our place, that nano spec that we are relative to the size of the cosmos, we feel bigger than ourselves, than others, than nature, fighting it in every way we can trying to conquer it because we truly feel like it’s ours to conquer – and being serious while doing so identifying with the compulsive self instead of identifying with our consciousness. You can’t fight the cosmos, it has always been here, it’ll always be there, we will perish, everyone has a final destination on this earth- at least for now – death. No one is getting out alive of this one. We need to learn about the union between ourselves and the other, the other being everything else, we are because they are. Without the other there really is no us- makes sense? And about life- we decide what our experience of life is, everything happens within you. You decide how to react or not. Everything comes from within, we are all of this world and not apart from it.

On to intellect – our intellect works with what we identify with. The things you identify with build you into who you are, some of them are easy to comprehend, others not so much. The advise was to identify with our ignorance. When you know that you don’t know but willing to know that is where you grow, that is where you move upwards if there was a direction to move to. The enlightened one is not the one who knows everything, it is the one who doesn’t stop learning, the one who takes every piece of information and looks into it. We mistake information for intelligence, what if we had the wrong information?

Then he ended by saying the sun came up on time today. I wasn’t sure what to make of it but he went further to explain. We as a race have decided that the sun comes up at certain times throughout the year, the earth spins around the sun as so do the other planets, uniquely positioned in such a way that each planet stays on it’s lane, the orbit and wobbles while doing so creating the various seasons we have, but the sun is there- it is always there, we are moving around the sun, not the sun going up or down. If we were left for about 18 minutes (or hours, not quite sure) without sunlight every living thing on earth will perish completely. Now when you think of it this way – yes the sun really does come up on time every single day. It is significant and these are the joys we should be paying attention to every day, the simple things. Like breathing, the day you stop breathing is the day you transition back into the other realm of the cosmos, can we confidently say we are ready to make that transition today? Live wisely, don’t take life too seriously, a quarter million people die every morning – if you are not one of them, that alone is a reason to be ecstatic about life.

2017 – you’ve been magical!

2017! What year you have been, I can’t even write about it constructively because the information download was just too immense and I am still struggling to process it all. It was an awesome year and one which lasted 12 months but I lived through it like it had been 5 years. It was by no means slow, it was very fast, but the amount of things I had to learn in this short time would have otherwise taken about 5 years for me to finally get them. It was another year filled with travel, a one which most of the destinations didn’t matter but the journey to them was key. Like when I was heading to the Everest base camp, reaching there became more and more unimportant as I got closer to reaching it. What was key was me enjoying every other moment on the trek there, meeting awesome people and observing everything around me and taking it all in. A year where I got to process a lot of emotions I had kept in me for so many years, a year during which I purged myself and became this version of myself. It wasn’t easy, removing certain habits or “truths” instilled by me/family/friends/environment was very difficult. I was clinging to many things thinking they were important for me and they only stalled my growth, I managed to get rid of some of them and still working on others. It’s been a year of too much information download, it scares me when I think of all of what I have learnt. A year what I learnt what it really means to be there for another person, a year where I was yet again shown unconditional love and support from the people near and far away from me. A year where my consciousness was dialled up by 10000%!! Life has not been the same since then. It changed me, in a good way. A year in which I think I finally got to understand what my purpose as a human here on earth is and how to go about it. A year where protecting my energy became a primary priority. A year where I learnt not to be a people pleaser but to focus on myself first. A year where I learnt how important it is to keep your word. A year where I learnt to see things just as the way they are and not complicate them further. A year of warmth, love and acceptance, a year of abundance. I also learnt again what gratitude is and how to practice it again, a year where my soul journeyed into other planes and showed me what passion is, what love is, what life is, what purpose is, what friendship means, what support means, what empathy means, what compassion means. A year where many existential questions were answered. A year I learnt not to resist life, to just be, to acknowledge my feelings, to really live! I get goosebumps reminiscing all of these things but I know I haven’t figured anything out yet- it was just the beginning. So thanks 2017 for the accelerated growth and all the lessons, you’ve been really good to me and I truly appreciate that. Now on to 2018 to continue the magic!
Happy new year!

Tell your Story

15542057_10157917102225052_746093461838035424_nUntil the lion learns to write, the story will always glorify the hunter -African Proverb.

This post is not an anti-anything post. It is a pro-african post. Yes, you can be pro something without being against another. That’s the misconception we have bought into so many times it’s become very easy to just feel like we are being attacked or not supported if someone is pro something we are not. I’m going to try to concentrate on what I know, based on my experiences and just try to promote my African brothers and sisters to do more for themselves.

We are in an age where everyone has access to social media, blogs and phones. Everyone can come out and tell their stories but I don’t see that happening enough from my fellow africans. Let me narrow it down even further, I don’t see that enough amongst my fellow Cameroonians. The last 2 years have been terribly bad back home, there have been strikes, uprisings, deaths and massacres due to political unrests and it has barely made it to the news. It barely had any type of international recognition and all the while it was happening, people were being told to take pictures and videos and tag the western media so that they come and report it on our behalf. Well, as you may have noticed, we were not a priority for the western media even after more than 100 people were killed and abducted and not a single finger was raised by the west. They were busy, they were covering the Catalan crisis on the same day- with not deaths. A few of my Facebook friends were obviously appalled by the situation and I asked them what they had done to draw the attention of the western media and they had no answer for me apart from anger  and disgust at the treatment. This usually boils down to us having all the resources and nothing to show for it which is also true.

There’s the other narrative of Africa being unable to support itself. We all know that is not true. There is a system which is set up and in place by the corrupt western leaders and African presidents they have propped up there to serve only themselves and not the people. This is a well known fact amongst us yet we allow it to continue happening, we grew up with it and it has become a part of us, to just watch and pray it changes without ever really taking any type of action. I am not saying we do not need help, everyone does in life, we need help to plan our cities better, to train our own engineers, to teach our kids. We need help in training ourselves to become these same people we look up to. We do not need people to come and feed us everything and not teach us how to farm. We do not need people to come and mine all the minerals and not teach us how to do so ourselves. We do not need to be left in the dark. we have sadly left ourselves in the dark and are distracted by everything else.

Wake up people! Who do you think feels better? A volunteer who spends time educating children in a village with no electricity or water or the kid who eventually has to drop out or miss out on that education because they need to support their families from a very very early age- in the form of labor? The volunteer has done their part, they have come in to teach, but the infrastructure is not in place to make this education worthwhile so it really is wasted time for the kid not the volunteer, they have done what they can and will feel good about it.

Tell your story, I am one of many who grew up shielded from a lot of the problems back home and I must say I had an amazing childhood. If there was any such thing as black privilege  then I must have had it. I wasn’t raised by my parents alone, I was raised by a community of loving humans in the form of immediate family, cousins, friends aunts and  uncles and sometimes even strangers. It was amazing, people were looking out for each other. My mom could leave me to go play more than 4km away from my home because she was sure one of the bigger boys will walk me back home. Me returning home safe was guaranteed, apart from the occasional wounds and scars from falling which even if she was there would not have been able to stop it from happening.

Now to the fellows in the diaspora. There’s the issue of foreign remittance. Yes is does help and changes lives back home but the issue with it is that it is being heavily relied upon. Take for instance the person who sends back 100$ every month back home as an allowance to a relative or a dear friend. I know people don’t starve back home for sure so I’ll go with the assumption that half of that money is not used for food (I may be wrong though). Most of that is really excess money for them to spend on clothes and shoes and other fancy stuff. Now hold on an sending that money back home and sincerely ask this person what plans they have for their own future and how you can really help. Most people really just want to start a business and support themselves and they too are tired having to rely on people abroad sending them money in small chance every month or two. Now don’t you think if you saved up that money for a year and sent it to said person as a block amount – and in so doing have helped them have enough to start a business to take care of themselves and family. The responsibility to grow this business is left with them and you are out. Make this a firm commitment to yourself and the person so they know you will not be there again to just send them money if they can’t use this one wisely. This will definitely ring a bell and if the person is any wiser they will stand up for themselves.

Narrow your beneficiaries. Yes you have to help but you can’t save everyone. What I mean by this is just as I have explained above about helping one person starting a business, is that you have to help in the right way. Now most of those abroad support more than five people with little amounts every now and then. That usually doesn’t amount to adequate support because you are stretched thin, they don’t get the right type of help. It’s like a single doctor being in a hospital full of so many ailing patients, he can only do so much to treat them and some of them will not get enough attention. Find a right number and take charge of these from start to finish. Pick that one child and sponsor them from primary school till they graduate from university for example. You would have helped educate someone and he will know the better and be a far better person for his community.

Give back to your community. You have to do this. Communities build nations. Donate your time and energy to a local project and see it through. Most of them don’t cost money, only your time is needed. There are lots of them so please pick one and pour your energy into it. Be part of something being created. Money doesn’t always fix everything. Those abroad look back to your community and see what you can start there, talk to people and see what they need to improve their lives and get involved in any way you can. You can also support anonymously if you wish, but please do something.

We are the lions and we are being hunted because we do not have control of the pen and the stories are being told and written for us. The hunters are being glorified because they have control of the pen. Now let’s rise to be the lions that we are, reach out to one another and get the type of help you seek. There are lots of people waiting to be called and contacted. If you have an idea, share it with someone and build that great community we grew up from. Stop the gossip, start the real talk! Let’s rise and tell our stories through our words and actions.

Jordan! The happy surprise. (part 1)

This seriously was a big risk! We had conveniently picked a long weekend so that we could minimize using more leave days than we had to. We had booked our tickets way in advance and my visa took a total of three months to be ready, it the longest I’ve ever had to wait for a visa. But it was understandable, they were are war, their president had strapped himself in a fighter jet was leading airstrikes against the crazy terrorist group of Iraq and Syria. Their country was in a heightened state of alert and risky according to the popular international news circles. The media were scaring the crap out of those who were not in the country. I thought there was a chance of us being kidnapped. Vika’s parents were obviously freaking out, our friend Natasha who came with us had her mom on the phone all the time to make sure she was ok. Well for me, I was going to tell my parents I was there only when I had gotten there. I had emailed them a copy of my life insurance the night before anyways 🙂 We had everything booked and it was too late to turn back now. One thing we were sure of was that we were going to be in awe of everything we were going to see.

Landed safely, I had the usual hiccups with immigration, I’m usually the first Cameroonian some immigration officers have seen or heard of. This usually requires additional checks for me, two or more officers need to confirm my passport and visa are valid and whatever other checks they had to do. Something which deeply troubles Vika but something I have made my peace with and educate every eager person about me and where I come from. Passport stamped, got through and our driver was there waiting for us with a sign across the rail. So I’m rushing towards him and then I see another sign which read “Mahalos” and hear a familiar voice calling from that direction. I can’t believe it, I know that sign and that voice, I look again and it’s my best friend waiting for us. I immediately became ecstatic and jumped over the rails and we start hugging and almost throw ourselves on the floor. I hadn’t seen him in about 7 months and had no clue he was coming. I had asked if he could but he was all the way in china and couldn’t make it yet there he was. Vika had secretly arranged with him to join us on the trip and surprise the rest of us at the airport. This is a guy I had met in India over 4 years ago and we shared some of the best experiences in my life together. One of the most chilled people I know and one who wouldn’t stop at anything to get what he wants. Just a year earlier I was transiting through Istanbul and had a 12 hour layover. He’s Turkish and set out to meet me at the airport as I was not allowed to leave. He managed to get to the airport without his passport and talked his was through all the checkpoints to meet me in the transit area under supervision! It was mind blowing how he achieved that but such is his determination. We have since grown into best buddies and still going crazy 6 years on. I’m still in my ecstatic state as we drive through the city to our hotel and just noticed it was a bit freezing. It was chilly but ok. We dropped our bags, prepped ourselves for adventure while the driver returned to the airport to pick up two more of our friends who were arriving.  It was a happy reunion. We forgot the risk we had taken to get here and just chatted away. All six of us coming from different countries had met in India a few years back and developed this strong bond which is still going on till today. When we meet its talking, cracking jokes and dancing away into the night. We are like dolls with switches, we get into play mode, dancing mode, deep talking mode, rest mode, all the friend modes you can think of.

10505254_10155363757145052_9128207902440318697_o.jpgWe set out to explore the city, our driver was excellent. We told him we wanted our trip to be remembered as the least touristy one in terms of food and wanted to eat local food at the best places in the city of Amman. He took us to one of the oldest known restaurants in the city called Hashim. The humus and falafel here are legendary. The restaurant wasn’t hidden but you could tell it was really old, broken tables and chairs, reconstructed walls et all.  Our driver Marwan helped us place the order as non of us spoke Arabic. We pleaded with him not to order too much as we wanted to have lunch at another place. He placed the order and within minutes the food started arriving in trays hot from the oven. We started eating and about three minutes later, more food arrived. We just kept on eating, and more kept on coming, humus, bread, falafel, tea, repeat! That’s all they had and that’s all we ate satisfactorily. We weren’t sure how we were going to have lunch at lunch time because we had greedily packed our stomach with all the food we could eat at Hashim. We visited the main touristic sites in the city, starting with the remains of the Roman theatre at the centre which left us in awe. It was massive and I still ponder how the people who addressed the crowds here did with no microphones or public announcement systems. I believe it was a job you had to be born to do and that is why most of the people who did were really great orators and had such a huge influence with the people of their time. We walked around it for a bit, turned down offers from people trying to get us to pay them to tell us more about the place. Soon after, we got into play mode, we decided to go to the very top of the theatre. This, however was not an easy feat, the steps were very steep but it was fun going up and when we finally did, cameras and phones came out, we took a bunch of funny pictures for a bit and then turned around to see the view from the top and it was truly amazing. Everyone sat in their own space, recovering and at the same time observing the theatre from above, picturing how it would have looked like if we were watching one of the romans addressing the Jordanian people. It still baffles me though how they accomplished it. After a while we begun our descent which was another funny task, the guys macho spirits came alive and it was a fairly easy task but then we had to slow down to help the ladies get down too.

 

10848692_10155363758555052_2243801985850729119_o.jpgOur next stop was the Citadel. I enjoyed the short drive up there and engaged in conversation with Marwan. I asked him how the city had changed since the start of the nearby war. He told us they are a peaceful country and have accepted millions of refugees, it has changed the dynamics of the city but they were happy to help. He spoke of how everyone was free to practice their religion and how great Jordanian people were. I asked him about his family and he told us he had two beautiful daughters who meant the world to him. you can tell how much people love someone or something when they talk about them. His face lit up as he spoke about his girls, you could literally see him looking at them by the way he spoke. You could see and hear the memories running through his words and the  brimming smile on his face. He looked like a very loving and engaging father who would do anything for his daughters. They brought him life and joy. He told me that was his life’s purpose and I believed him. Who wouldn’t be proud to have two amazing girls?

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We reached the citadel and it was going to be hike around as well. We got our tickets and walked in. It was also in ruins but had guide posts from which we could read about the place or area we were in. A gentleman walked up to us, introduced himself and told us he could guide us along and tell us more about the citadel. We were going to say no at first till he told us this was the job he was doing was for a good cause. We signed up with him and he gave a brilliant tour of the citadel. The number of times it had been destroyed and rebuilt, the legend of Hercules and remains from broken statues to back up the claim he actually existed which was quite intriguing. The tour lasted about two hours of which we saw so many broken stones, bones, mummies, burial pods and chambers. We finished at a place which was one of the highest points of the city and had a beautiful view of part of Amman. It was built on small hills and the houses looked like they were stacked on each other in a nice way. We were hungry again and put Marwan up to the task of finding another local place for us to feast at which he gladly did. Natasha, the foodie of our group had being talking non-stop about the mansaf. She had done so much research on it and just couldn’t stop asking when we were going to have it. It is the national dish of Jordan which comprises of lamb cooked in a sauce of fermented dried yogurt served with rice and bread. Marwan found a place for us and we all ordered mansaf. What we didn’t know was that the portions were massive!! When the first two plates arrived we knew we were in trouble. Vika doesn’t tolerate me not finishing my food, if you ordered it, you ate it and you finish it. That was her rule about food. I’ve gotten into trouble so many times for not cleaning out my plate. We had to cancel two of the six plates we had ordered. The mansaf truly did live up to the taste Natasha had been telling us about. It wasn’t similar to anything I had had before and came with its mouth senses explosions which I did like. So there we were again and had managed to get induce ourselves into yet another food coma on the first day of the trip. We waited it out and then headed back to our hotel to rest a little and prepare for a night out in the city.

Marwan came by and we drove to the city centre and just walked around for a while, checking out stuff and chatting amongst ourselves and cracking jokes and poking one another. I spotted a small target practice shop and decided we try to shoot some rounds. So there was this one time in Singapore where Vika and I were watching a movie and they kept on referring to an AK and she asked me what it was. I paused the movie and went into teacher mode to give her what was my understanding of the AK-47. I graciously told her how it was the best thing that had probably come out of her country Russia according to some and went to explain more. It was the kind of explanation you finish and expect a clap or some kind of approval of your brilliance. She just looked at me and I was baffled as asked why she was not impressed, to which she replied “I know how to dismantle, assemble, load and fire rounds with an AK-47!” Which froze me for a couple of seconds as I hadn’t seen that coming. So here were were, and I wanted to see what she was all about with guns. I thought it was something I would easily get, but I fired the first couple of rounds at the targets and missed them all! Then she comes around and schools me on my posture, how to aim and how to fire, the method of release, how to breathe, all of that. She knew what she was doing! I followed her instructions and hit some targets while she observed calmly from behind. I finished and she gave me the thumps up with a cheeky smile as if to say “now you know”. We finally got around to finding a place to have dinner, we were still full from the afternoon so we decided to eat really light. we walked into a restaurant-bar and put two tabled together. It was only after we had sat down that we noticed there were only men in here. Not a single lady in sight, which immediately made the girls feel uncomfortable. Marwan explained to us that Jordanian women hardly ever go out at night except on very rare occasions. We pressed him to know if it was some sort of pressure from the men not to allow women to go out or it was just something they had in their culture. He tried to explained and I immediately realised I was judging their culture from my own cultural standpoint which was very wrong of me. We killed the conversation, had our food hastily and left to rest to be up early for a drive down to the river Jordan, wadi Mujib and the dead sea.

10458795_751566374963449_9062319517307684146_n.jpgRise and shine, it’s time to drive to river Jordan. Marwan arrived on time, we loaded ourselves up in the car, stopped by a small coffee shop and grabbed quick breakfast and jumped back into the car. Marwan warned us not to be sticking our heads and arms out of the car in order to take pictures in certain places. We noticed there were lots of army personnel as we drove out of the city and a few checkpoints. The drive itself was a very calm one until one of us decided to take a picture of something and we got stopped at the next checkpoint. We had been spotted! Marwan explained we were tourist and may have mistakenly taken the photograph, we had to surrender the camera for the officer to inspect and he handed it back to us. My crazy friend Cet decided it would be a good time to have the police officer take a picture of his own with us. He’s always doing crazy stuff like that and…the officer did agree so he got his other colleague to take photos of us all with him. We ended up talking for about 10 minutes with the officer and answered questions about where we were from and asked him about his. Out of nowhere we had dissolved what was a tense situation into one of exchange of names, laughs and pictures. He bid us farewell and wished us well on our adventures.

1939768_10155363772825052_494652024977441919_o.jpgFirst stop of the day was the river Jordan and the religious sights which came with it. As we drove on we saw something small crossing the road and observed it carefully to notice it was a turtle. Marwan’s face lit up, he told us the night before one of his daughters was asking if she could have one and here it was trying to cross the road. He picked it up and kept it safely in the back of the car in a box with some grass for it to eat while we drove on. We got to the river jordan checkpoint, got our tickets and went it. The river runs between the borders of Jordan, Israel and Palestine and is the lowest lying river in the world at -400m below sea level.

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Marwan showed us what is believed to have been the exact place where the prophet Elijah ascended into heaven in a chariot of fire. My mom would have loved this! what for me is just a trip or holiday would have been a pilgrimage for her. I was about see a lot of the things and places referenced in the Bible and pillars for Christianity. We came by the river, we had been warned not to try to cross it as there were snipers in the bushes on the other side of the river bank. That sunk in deep and we stayed way clear of the border.

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We saw the place believed to be the baptism place of Jesus. There were many other people here all travelling as pilgrims to the holy land. The place was filled with so much detail about Christianity and Judaism. There was however a place where we could dip into the river if we wanted to. On the other side of it was Isreal and had it’s own pilgrims who had made the trip from that side of the border. A guy was preaching and others were singing, it felt like an outdoor church. We soaked our feet in the water for a while and observed more of the area. We shifted from pilgrim mode into sniper spotting mode soon after. We were intent on finding at least one sniper. our search was futile was we headed back to the car. It had nonetheless been a great visit, I took a lot of video logs for my mom. She was going to love them.

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We the headed to the dead sea and we were all very excited. We had heard of the amazing once in a lifetime experience of floating in the dead sea and were eager to try it. The water is so salty nothing can live in it and which contributed to making anything dropped into it to float right back to the top. We got there, changed and ran into the sea right up to about knee-length deep then dropped! As soon as you dropped you floated right back to the surface and that too effortlessly. It was mind-blowing! So we began floating, we had magazines packed just for this, we were going to be floating unaided on water and reading magazines and news papers.

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It was so much fun and we played for about an hour in the sea , we were like kids on a playground. We had dead sea mud on ourselves as we had been told it was good for the skin because of the presence of an overland of minerals in the mud. We believed it. One thing to note though- DO NOT SHAVE before getting there, give yourself at least two days prior to arriving at the dead sea without a shave. The stinging pain as the water got in your skin cracks is one you will never forget! Some of us learnt this the hard way. Be warned. We forgot about the pain anyways and focused on floating after a while. This was a serious high on the trip and one which I don’t think I can ever forget. We showered down, had some shisha and left for wadi mujib.

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Unfortunately the entrance to the canyon had been closed off for renovation and preservation work. We were sad as we had seen really amazing pictures of the canyon and really wanted to hike through it. We later on realised we wouldn’t have had enough time and made our peace with it. We drove back to  Amman, the following day was going to be the last sight seeing trip to Petra then a drive to wadi rum in the desert where nothing went as planned but everything left in complete awe as we experienced bedouin life! (watch out for part 2!)

 

 

Is it ok just to look on the bright side?

I woke up a few days ago and mistakenly turned on the news. It felt like the world was coming to and end, bombings here, bombings there, a strike in a certain country, innocent people being killed, people being forced out of their lands etc. It felt like a dark cloud has suddenly drifted over earth and we were covered in a blanket of sad news. I felt sorry, I imagined the lives of all of those people and what they were going through, the struggle they have daily, their mindset. It was impossible to know because I have never been in such a situation, at least not to that scale. I just could not understand why it was so bad for them and (mostly) good for me. Well, I decided to look on the bright side and let my life continue.

I am one of those people who believe in having the right kind of energy in order for certain things to happen. I am not talking about the energy you need to move around and do stuff. I mean the energy you feel when you are doing something good, the energy you feel when you are about to make a decision, the type of energy you radiate when you walk into a room full of people, the one which hangs with you all the time and sometimes tells an onlooker what kind of mood you are in. The energy that guides your intuition! This energy field or aura as some people call it plays a big part in my life. If I’m feeling it, I’m doing it! That’s what I go by most of the time.

The news that morning had depleted my energy at the very start of the day but it wasn’t all bad, because with the lack of the right energy you start searching in other places, you go deeper into yourself and sometimes ask yourself the questions you never even knew you had answers to. I was in that state of mind and I started asking myself the question; why is it happening to them and not me? I have been brought up in a way to appreciate the good things that are happening to me. To be thankful for what I have, to not compare or compete with anyone, to just take it all in whatever it is and deal with it. SO many times I have come across or witnessed something bad happening to someone else and have been told to be glad it is not happening to me or if something did happen to me or someone else we tell them to “look on the bright side”. That right there is the problem for me, looking on the bright side. What about the dark side? What about dealing with that sad thing that just happened?  We just bottle up the sad side and lock it away, never really addressing what it means, how to prevent it, how to stop it from happening to other people because it is such a tragedy? We have been taught to only look after ourselves and by doing this the rest of the world suffers. There’s never any real change. I am not saying looking on the bright side is bad, by no means no. It is good, but I think we need to address the dark side too. So you see a hungry person on the street, should your reaction end at “Thank God I have food today”? You witness someone being abused, should you stop at “geez luckily that’s not happening to me”? This list could go on and on. It’s about intervening, trying to find out why that happens in the first place and trying to stop it from happening again. It is a risky road sometimes as you get to challenge people, systems and structures which have been in place for years  and have a lot of power.

I told my colleague when I got to work how I felt and how powerless I felt at the same time not being able to actually make a reasonable change. But he did point out to me that we already do. We do charity work every now and then, we go out and do other things which influence people’s lives and we do not even know it. We do so by being the best version of ourselves everyday, being positive, radiating that positive energy and spirit, checking in on others, offering our help and time for sometimes good causes. I had somehow forgotten about all of this and it was because the things I had seen on the news that morning were happening in places very far from where I was and on a terrible scale that I felt like I had never done anything to help. It’s not that we always ignore the injustices happening in the world, it’s that sometimes we are convinced we cannot change or stop them from happening. But I say we can. After looking on the bright side, take a moment to deal with what you have just witnessed, speak up (really speak up and not a Facebook post or profile picture change), if you see people protesting about something, try to listen and understand why they are doing that before you form an opinion. When you do, if you have the time, join them, help spread their message. Offer your time to do something bigger than you. Or not bigger than you, just make a simple contribution to the human cause. There’s always room for a helping hand, and there are always people who need help. Let’s be the change we want to see in the world. Let’s improve our lives.

The magical Leh Ladakh

The first time I ever left Cameroon was to travel to India and since then I have been hooked. In four years I have made at least 5 trips back here. There’s always something new calling me back to India. This time it was the mountains of Leh Ladakh. This time it was a journey to challenge myself to see how well I was going to do in the wild and survive freezing nights in a tent and trek for a couple of days from an altitude range from 3500m to about 5600m. I was scared, yet excited and that’s how I was sure I needed to do this.

Leh Ladakh is a highly disputed region in the Kashmir mountains on the Himalayan range. You’ve got Pakistan on one side, Tibet on the other side and India in the middle. Somehow, all three countries have found a way for each other to keep a piece of their side so that the people of Ladakh can live peacefully. This however is not as simple as it sounds as I noticed a very heavy military presence in the regions.

Leh, the capital of the region sits at a base altitude of about 3500m and is a very colourful town. As soon as you touch down you can feel the presence of the mountains. They are peaceful yet intimidating and have claimed the lives of hundreds of people who have not heeded to the advice of the locals. So the first thing you want to do is check yourself. Many people come to Leh for various reasons. For most Indians it is the ultimate road trip,mostly by motorbike which starts from New Delhi, through the lovely provinces of Uttarakhand and  Himachal Pradesh stopping by the ever green and chilled out Manali, the spiritual Dharamshala  then a steep climb all the way to Leh. A trip which sees them cover at least 1300km by land in one of the worlds most dangerous routes. Going through glacier passes depending on the season and sometimes having to wait in line for hours for repair or recovery of vehicles which have given up to the mountains. I decided to skip all of this and took a 1hr 30min flight.


The first thing you want to do when you get to Leh is acclimatise. This is the simple process of letting your body get in tune with the altitude change. You may be a very fit person but might still require a couple of days to acclimatise properly. All you have to do is sit and not move around a lot for about 24-48 hours (varies per individual). You will feel your body change, you will feel drowsy, loss of appetite, breathing becomes even more difficult as the air is very thin with less oxygen. Take a rest, eat and take in enough fluids to keep your body going. If you must move, then visit the monasteries and markets around. My headaches lasted for about a day and I felt I was good to go the next morning. I planned my trek with the help of a local tour company I had found (there are any of them) and the next morning I was up at 5am to start my adventure.

I was introduced to my guide, Tundup. He was going to try to keep me alive. We had a porter and a cook with us as well as 3 horses to help carry our supplies. This was already interesting. Tundup and I spoke for a couple of minutes, he made sure I was healthy and told me to always listen to him, to let him know how I as feeling and to ask him stop if I didn’t feel good.

We took off shortly and left the porter, the cook and the horses behind. He said not to worry as they were going to catch up quickly. We opened conversations. I had come here to learn, I had come here to educate myself through listening and first hand experience. I asked about the laws of the land, how different things are now that the region is open to many tourists and how it has affected the locals. What was the buddhist way of life and how can I translate that to my own life. In pure buddhist fashion, the answers were simple yet thought provoking. Most of them went around the wheel of life, karma, and greed. Greed is what corrupts the human mind more than anything else. They were peaceful and self sufficient before many people started arriving and found a way to monetise the region. He spoke of how it has helped them greatly but also of how so many values have been lost because of greed. It was becoming increasingly difficult to live normally as everyone was focused on making money. But there were a few who were not to affected by the negatives; the small villages on the way during our trek. I came by a village or settlement which was self sufficient. They had everything they needed, they had their cattle for food and their waste as fuel during the winter months. They grew their own food, barley, wheat and even had their own mills being run by man made irrigation systems. The irrigation system had channels through which water could be diverted to help run the mill. There wasn’t a single shop in sight, not even a small store where you could buy anything. Money hd no value in this village and I loved that about it. I had been looking forward to getting there thinking I was going to be able to find a shop or store and buy some bathing soap…nope…there wasn’t even a proper bathroom. So being in the wild we had to do things in the way of the wild. I had to shower from a small waterfall. I was excited about this but had completely forgotten that this water were all run offs from melting glaciers…I jumped in, my lungs froze and and jumped right back out, gave out a loud hearty laugh and went right back in. I was loving it, it was was freezing but I was enjoying it. Come to think of me back in the city who wouldn’t have a cold shower and I am here having a freezing one and enjoying it. These are the things I miss and that is why I travel this way. This was just one of the many things I loved about this trek.


They say if you want to find yourself you need to take long walks by yourself. Well, this was it for me, trekking and camping in the wild. I trekked each day for about 5- 6 hours and I spent about a quarter of the time listening and asking questions to my well informed guide. The other quarter of the time I will be focused on where to put my foot next and the last half of the time in utter silence, listening to my thoughts and memories. Memories of my childhood kept on going through my mind which came as no surprise as I was here to appreciate my life more, hence, it covered everything I had experienced or grown up around since birth. The more these memories ran through my mind, the more I appreciated my life and you can’t help buy feel gratitude. Gratitude is what creates abundance in my life. Focusing on hat I have and being thankful for it rather than what I do not have and being sad about it makes all the difference. I have  ups and downs like everyone else but I started focusing on the things that were going right and was very happy for them. That was the shift, that made the difference. It is difficult to stay in this frame of mind all the time but if you try you will get there and you will see how much of a difference it makes, how liberating it is and how much simpler your life could be if you focused on the present things which were going on in your life at this moment. My time on the mountains were filled with these flashes of how awesome my life had been up till this point and with each flash came a wave of happiness, a wave of joy and a huge smile on my face, you know, the type that warms your heart. I shared some of these with Tundup and he loved hearing them.


I had listened to a TED talk which was about travel and how to make your travel experience one you would never forget. Travellers are always focused on taking pictures and asking questions to the locals, more interested in knowing about the locals than letting the locals know about them. The advice was to take time to make the locals learn something about you, something which corporate media would never show, something which is unique to you and your people wherever you come from. It was simple, all you had to do was ask the local to ask you anything about yourself, anything at all. Beside being a tourist, you were the ambassador of your country. This was a learning exercise for both parties. For me it was how to present my culture and country to a stranger, for the listener it is an opportunity to confirm or get rid of his prejudices about someone. Tundup was quick to fire, no one had ever asked him this before. He asked about famine and war, about kids dying from hunger and poverty, about the type of clothes we wore, did we live on trees etc? They were very funny but I realised this is what movies portrayed about Africa. That was the information he was being fed. We laughed together as I debunked each of these preconceptions he had. I told him how we grew up in a community style kind of way, where everyone looked out for the other, we had big houses and enough food to feed a lot of people daily, we played in fields and climbed on trees to harvest fresh fruit, we did go hunting and fishing sometimes and we went to school as well. It was a perfect mix. I was very happy telling him about how I grew up, being able to do all these things. Yes some places were dangerous but it was overall fun and I’ll do it again in a heartbeat. He asked about what kind of music I listened to and was shocked I wasn’t a big fan of hip hop. I told him why and how I found more meaning in deep house music but still danced to hip hop when the chance presented itself. I had my phone with me and had some podcasts downloaded and saved so I played him one of my favourite 1hr podcast by Sam Feldt (podcast title; Nazomeren). I love this podcast  series because it always started with a very positive message then the music drifted in slowly. We took a break from trekking and sat down under the shade of a rock to listen to it. He loved it, he loved he message at the start of the podcast and we went into another conversation about it. I loved that Tundup wasn’t just a guide, I loved how we could both teach each other about two completely different world and yet find common ground in the simplest things.


The nights were windy and freezing and I was on a mission to capture the milky way. This would have been easy if I had actually read on how to do it and not rely on meeting a photographer friend of mine who fell sick and couldn’t make the trip on time. So I’m out there at 11pm, a sky full of stars and I can’t set my dslr to the right shooting mode. So I keep ducking back into my tent, switch mode, come out, shoot…nothing happens. I did this for about an hour then finally gave up, took my sleeping bag and wrapped it around myself and just sat there and took it all in. It was an amazing sight, one which I had missed while failing woefully with my camera. The moon wasn’t in sight on this night and the magic known as the universe was in the full range of my eyes. It was truly a sight. I had never ever seen it a clearly as I had on this night, being at an altitude of about 4700m, no light pollution, no sound of cars or of people. On this night, it was just me, my tent and the rest of the world before my eyes. Whatever god you believe in or not, this was confirmation that there is something or someone out there bigger than the rest of us and watching over us and that we are just part of a very large and complex system we may never fully understand but that giving into it gives room for so much more. This was a bigger than life moment for me. My place in the universe was just a tiny spec of dust we have called Earth and we are on a mission to destroy it as if we could just up and go to another one. How sad! When I couldn’t bare the cold any longer I went into my tent and had a good nights sleep. I woke up the next morning, opened my tent and just gazed out into the ice capped mountains which were laid out in front of my eyes. I was consumed by my thoughts once again and only snapped out of them when Tundup came by to announce we had to  start getting ready for the second part of the trek.

This was going to be the most difficult part of the trip. We were going to ascend up to about 5300m and the slopes we were trekking along were slippery and very steep. As mentioned before the air is really thin and gets thinner the higher you go and here every step has the be well calculated before taken. You could feel the lightenes sod the air in in your lungs and you would know better than to push yourself. I learnt later that at this altitude the caloric demand of your body is in the 6000-7000 range daily as opposed to 2500 when you are at your regular altitude. This was the most dangerous part of the trip and had to be executed properly. We will go up to the top of the passes and then descend into the valleys and up again and down again. This feat will continue till we reached our resting place for the day. I experienced first hand nature providing for us. The sun is very harsh here and whenever we felt like we had had too much a cloud appeared to cover us, when it was too hot a cold breeze was sent from the ice peaks to cool us down. The valleys were green and had springs flowing through them and we would fill out water bottles, dip our feet I the spring to cool off and wash our faces then start the dreadful climb up again. More reflections, more self assessment, more realization and more appreciation and gratitude. That was the practice on this trek and it truly felt awesome.


On arrival at the top of any pass my guide and I will cry out “Ki ki so so lha gyal lo” is the prayer a Tibetan will recite at the summit of a mountain pass. My guide told me it translates to “victory to the gods”. They believe that it is at these high mountain passes that the good gods fight with the evil gods and that the lung-tar (coloured paper printed with prayers) and prayer are an offering to the good gods. Offering these prayers at mountain passes is especially auspicious because it is believed that the high winds will be of benefit in carrying the prayers. It was also a huge sign of relief when we got to a pass, that meant the climbing had stopped and we were going down which was easier to do that climbing.

On this night though I managed the view the Milky Way and took an almost good picture  of it finally. There was a big golden Buddha at this village and I went up to the monastery and spent some time there trying to listen to my thoughts. A local came and he and I engaged in conversations about Budhism and how the Buddha I was looking at was different. He had his hand touching the earth. This is because he had been asked to prove his enlightenment and his response was “only Mother Earth can know” and with that touched the earth. He then explained how we mustn’t always do things to get credit for or to be noticed but for the greater good. Only you and the earth you walk know and understand your struggle. I don’t know why these Buddhist always had very philosophical answers to me. They were simple answers by them but each of them was thought provoking. More self assessment and more realization and more changes to be made. I was loving this and was sad it was about to come to an end. I had learned so many things about myself in these mountains. I had had conversations with myself and found certain truths and had doubts about some. It was going to change my approach on life when I got back to the city. I was happier and wiser than when I arrived here. The rest of the trek was pretty much to same till I got to my pickup point where I said goodbye to the horses and the porters, jumped into the car and passed out. I woke up in the city of Leh and started looking for my late friend. She had after all felt better and made the trip. Found her and got on to telling her about my adventures in the wild and my massive fail with the camera. We made plans to visit one of the iconic lakes which was a 5 hour drive from the city and also to the highest motor able pass in the world at 5700m which was an adventure on it’s own because of the mad way our driver was driving. Let’s just say I appreciated driving slow in traffic after this ordeal. The last part of the trip was shopping for stones as my dear friend had just come out of surgery before I left and requested I bring back a rock for her. Seriously? A rock? So I decided to get one which was somewhat rare and she loved it. Flew back to Delhi and was obviously happy to get a fresh shower bath and regular food. Like I said before, the whole trip was about appreciation of the things I take for granted everyday and to learn as much as I could from the fellow Buddhist high up in the mountains.

Life is not complicated, we complicate life with worries and desires born from greed. I have always known there is a way to live a life filled with content and love and I will keep putting the pieces together and someday I will be free of worry and full of life and radiate that energy wherever I go. I survived the cold chilly nights and the altitude sickness that comes with the environment. The fear I had at the beginning had been conquered and the power of excitement and eagerness had triumphed. I had learnt new ways of life and my perspective on life has yet again definitely shifted to a better place. I “Kaizen-ed” up there.